Forming a parent-child bond is a task that most parents struggle with, but when you and your spouse are separated, this challenge can seem almost impossible, especially if you don’t have primary custody. Despite any roadblocks, finding a way to maximize your role in your child’s life is pivotal.
Schedule Your Time Together
While scheduling out every minute that you’ll spend with your child is likely to have a negative long-term effect, planning at least some of these times is useful. You know when you will have custody of your children, so make sure that you avoid any interruptions to that time that you can. While they still need to go to school and keep any other commitments, you should avoid scheduling major events during those times that will take you away from your children.
Pursue Similar Interests
Having something special that you do with your children can be an excellent way to bond. Start working on a project, learning a new skill, or pick up a fun hobby. Whether it is painting, hiking, or reading the same books, these experiences will be great for creating memories and helping you keep your bond strong, even if they aren’t with you. If you want them to start taking lessons for some hobby, make sure you talk to your former spouse before you start. You don’t want to use this bonding time to undercut them. It is important for your children to bond with both parents.
Ask Meaningful Questions
In order to have a role in your children’s lives, you really need to know them. If you ask kids questions about their days that can be answered with a simple yes or no, communication is shut off early on. Make sure you stay up-to-date on what is going on with your children when they aren’t with you and make sure you ask them about it. Asking them questions and showing interest in all areas of their life will help them feel like you truly care about what is going on with their life.
Avoid Fighting with Your Former Spouse
Regardless of how you feel about your former spouse, they are also your child’s parent, and you need to respect that. When divorced parents fight, it causes a lot of stress on the child and it can make them feel torn. Even if you can’t agree on anything else, you should be united on making sure you take good care of your children. If you are having a hard time getting along, it may be best to use a mediator to help you look out for your children’s best interests.
Navigating a divorce with children can be difficult, and it can be even more difficult to keep your bond with your children strong. Use these tips to make sure that you have a strong relationship with your children.